


I see you

by Ilearnedtoreadforthis



Series: STB Bingo [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilearnedtoreadforthis/pseuds/Ilearnedtoreadforthis
Summary: Bucky fears that the Winter Soldier is still too much a part of him.  But luckily Tony knows him better.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: STB Bingo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039661
Comments: 4
Kudos: 119
Collections: STB Bingo: Round One





	I see you

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for STB Bingo square: Bucky's Goats, N5  
> .

Steve looked over Bucky’s shoulder at the video playing on the Starkphone in Bucky’s hand, “Buck, she’s getting fat.”

“She’s not fat,” Bucky protested as he turned around to face Steve. “She’s pregnant.”

“Really? Well, I guess congratulations are in order,” Steve slapped Bucky on the back. “You’re going to be a grandpa.”

“Just how long  _ was  _ I down in the lab?” Tony asked, walking up to Bucky giving him a quick kiss.

“Too long,” Bucky pulled Tony into a hug, “I was just about to come down and get you.” Bucky had made a deal with J.A.R.V.I.S. shortly after he and Tony started dating a few months ago that if J.A.R.V.I.S. saw Tony slip with one of his tools a total three times during his work marathons that he would notify Bucky immediately. It was a sign he was overtired and they didn’t need a repeat of the laser beam incident. And J.A.R.V.I.S. had already notified him of two slips of a screwdriver.

Tony laid his head on Bucky’s chest, “Hmm. Not this time. I give. I’m tired. But why is Capsicle calling you grandpa?”

“Oh, it's nothing,” Bucky stammered. “Just one of the goats that I took care of while I was recovering in Wakanda is pregnant. Steve here was just giving me a hard time about it.” Bucky was embarrassed to admit that much.

“Is that her?” Tony asked as he pointed to the phone Bucky was holding next to him that was paused on the video.

Bucky lifted the phone to see where the video was paused, “Oh, no - that’s Rick.” Bucky hit the play button on the video until a different goat came on screen, “That’s Ilsa there. She’s just over three months along.”

“Rick and Ilsa? Casablanca?” Tony smiled up at Bucky, seeing the pride on his face.

“Yeah. It was the last movie I saw, you know, before I enlisted.” Bucky felt his embarrassment rise even further.

“Buck doted on those goats like they were his children,” Steve laughed as he grabbed a cup of coffee and started to hand it to Tony.

Bucky swatted it away, making Tony jump at the cup, “You need sleep, not caffeine.”

“James -,” Tony whined.

“I’ll make you a deal.” Bucky looked Tony in the eye, “If you can tell me how long you were in the lab just now, within, let’s say, ten hours, since I’m feeling generous, then I’ll let you have the coffee and send you back down to the lab myself.”

Tony furrowed his eyes and started to think, “Okay, I went down there Wednesday night. I remember because it was Clint’s turn to pick a movie and he insisted on that one movie with that one actress with the blonde hair. You know, the one I don’t like.”

“Wow,” Bucky laughed, “Your level of detail so far is spectacular.”

Tony responded by pursing his lips together, “Don’t worry, I got this.”

“By all means, continue.”

“Okay. Now today is Friday, and based on the dampness of Steve’s hair, I am assuming he just took a shower after his morning run so it’s approximately eight o’clock. So eight p.m Wednesday to eight am Friday is,” Tony paused, “approximately 36 hours.”

“Is that your final answer?” Bucky asked with a lilt in his voice.

“Why do I feel that by the tone of your voice, I am completely wrong.”

Bucky lifted his eyebrows and gave Tony an all knowing smile, “Because today is Sunday, and it’s about 6:30 p.m. Steve’s hair is wet because he just went out and picked up a few pizzas for us for dinner and it’s raining. But congratulations on knowing the day you went down to your dungeon.”

Tony's face frowned, “J?”

“Sergeant Barnes is correct, sir. You were in your lab for exactly 93 hours and 27 minutes.” J.A.R.V.I.S. stated.

“Huh.”

“Now, I have to head off to D.C. tonight to meet with Fury. But I assume I can trust you to put yourself to bed?” When Bucky didn’t receive an answer, Bucky looked sternly at Tony, “Tony, do I have to ask J.A.R.-”

“Yes, yes. I’ll get some sleep,” Tony’s scrunched his face, “And I thought Steve was bad.”

“Hey, don’t drag me into this,” Steve said, drinking the coffee he had offered to Tony.

Bucky kissed Tony on the forehead, “Good, now I have to run before I miss my train. I should be back by Thursday. I’ll see you then?”

“Okay. Be safe.”

Bucky bent down and gave Tony a kiss goodbye and caressed his cheek, “Please get some sleep and J?”

“Sargeant?”

“If he returns to his lab within 12 hours of this moment or is in his lab for more than 48 hours while I am gone, turn off all power supply to the lab, override code, B03101917”

“Override code accepted.” J.A.R.V.I.S. replied.

“Where is the trust?” Tony protested.

“I trust you, doll. Really, I do. But your ability to tell time sometimes is a little, questionable, let’s say. And I hate to remind you of the laser-”

“Do not finish that sentence. Bruce forgave me and his eyebrows are growing back nicely.”

“Nevertheless, I’ll see you  _ safe and sound _ on Thursday and my override is in place until I get back,” Bucky gave Tony another quick kiss. “Bye.”

“Goodbye, James.”

Bucky slipped out of the kitchen after saying goodbye to Steve and receiving another grandpa joke in return. He thought about Tony as he rode the train into D.C. He couldn’t believe after everything life had thrown at the two of them that they would end up together. Well, Bucky thought, “end up” might be stretching it a bit at this point since they have only been dating for three months. And to top it off, they hadn’t even said “I love you” to each other yet. Although Bucky is sure he’s been in love with Tony almost since the moment he moved into the tower.

Tony had been so accepting of him, in spite of the things Bucky had done as the Winter Soldier. He had fought with the government to get Bucky pardoned for his crimes committed as his alter ego. He worked in conjunction with Wakandan doctors to help Bucky recover from his years of torture and even provided Bucky with a new, more life-like arm, allowing Bucky to complete his therapy by completely destroying his last link to Hydra. But the thing that touched Bucky the most, the thing that was most personal to him, was that Tony had opened up his home and trusted him in his life. 

Bucky looked at his watch and noted the time, deciding he needed to check in on Tony, worried he managed to reverse the override code he put in place.

**Bucky** :  _ Tony go to bed? _

**Steve** :  _ Yes. He just went about a half hour ago. JARVIS said he is asleep. _

**Bucky** :  _ I left over two hours ago. why half hour? _

**Steve** :  _ We were talking. Your fault. _

**Bucky** :  _?? _

**Steve** :  _ Your override said he couldn’t go back into lab for 12 hours. It said nothing about sleeping. _

**Bucky** :  _ Seriously? _

**Steve** :  _ Yes, he tried to wait it out _ .

**Bucky** :  _ Sorry _

**Steve** :  _ When are you going to tell him _

**Bucky** :  _?? _

**Steve** :  _ You know damn well what I am asking. When are you going to tell Tony how you feel? _

**Bucky** :  _ Why are you bringing this up again? _

**Steve** :  _ Why haven’t you told him _

**Bucky** :  _ He should say it first. Don’t want to rush him. _

**Steve** :  _ Let’s try this AGAIN - He will NEVER say it first. HE IS MORE INSECURE THAN YOU. _

**Steve** :  _ Buck _ ?

**Steve** :  _ Hey, he loves you too.  _

**Steve** :  _ You’d both be much happier if you just said it _

**Bucky** : _ I know _

**Steve** :  _ And? _

**Bucky** :  _ You’re right _

**Steve** :  _ And look, I got that in writing. _

**Bucky** :  _ Punk _

**Steve** :  _ See you Thursday _

But Thursday turned into two weeks from Thursday since Fury ended up sending Bucky on a mission by the end of the week. And when Bucky got on the quinjet when it was completed, his first thought was of getting home to Tony.

“Where are we?” Bucky looked around at the farmland that the quinjet landed on.

“Upstate New York,” Clint answered.

“Why? I thought we were going home.”

“You’ll see,” Clint nodded to the figure approaching them and returned to the quinjet.

Bucky looked over and saw Tony walking toward him, “Tony? What are you doing here?”

“Hi James,” Tony gave him a kiss. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, but-,” Bucky was still confused. He looked around at the property he was on. There was a white farmhouse off into the distance with a garden on the side of it. In the pasture there were a couple very large barns, one older and one under construction. Bucky even saw a couple of horses and cows peppered around the fields, “Whose farm is this?”

“Technically?” Tony asked as he took Bucky’s hand and led him back toward the barns.

“What do you mean technically?”

“Well, technically, it is owned by Stark Industries. But unofficially it’s yours, I mean, if you want it.”

Bucky stopped in his tracks, “What am I missing, Tony?”

Tony’s face broke out into a smile, “You’ll see.” Tony turned and continued to lead Bucky to the barn. “James, why do you keep going out on missions?”

The question caught Bucky by surprise, “What-?”

“What I mean is,” Tony continued, “you hate them. Yes, you are good at what you do, but you hate them. I can see it everytime you come back from one. For a few days after you come home, it’s like you’re on pins and needles until you figure out how to relax again. So why?”

Bucky watched his feet as he walked, considering what Tony was saying. Even though he was no longer the Winter Soldier, he felt he was still running parallel with him when he was sent out on a mission. He may no longer be on the wrong side of the law, but mentally he was having a tough time seeing a difference. And when he came back home it took him a few days to reconcile his two worlds.

“I don’t know,” Bucky said quietly. “It seems like this is what’s expected of me.”

They reached the closed barn doors when Tony turned to Bucky and held his hands, “That’s what I thought.” Tony rubbed his thumbs over the back of Bucky’s hands. “Do you know why I call you James?”

Bucky snickered, “It’s my name.”

“Okay, smartass,” Tony smiled, “I don’t call you Bucky because sometimes you seem a little sad when Steve calls you that. I think it bothers you that it’s a reminder of someone who you used to be and aren’t quite anymore. Bucky was a kid from a long time ago who used to hang around a 98 pound Steve Rogers and neither one of those people exist any longer.”

Bucky was shocked that Tony noticed that. He thought he had always been able to hide his aversion to the nickname and how it made him feel.

“And I refuse to call you the Winter Soldier or The Asset or any other name that refers to a part of your life that you were not a willing participant in. So,” Tony squeezed Bucky’s hand, “I call you James. It is the last thing I say to you before you go on a mission, and the first thing I say when you get home because I want you to know that I see you as James and nothing else. Because that’s who you are in my heart.

“James is the one who holds me during movie nights and makes sure I eat and drink and sleep. James is the one who sets override codes to insure that I’m taken care of when I am too stupid to take care of myself and James is the one that makes me toast and covers each corner with jelly so my bread to jelly ratio is always constant.”

Bucky laughed, knowing how important that stupid little detail was to Tony,

“And James is the one whose face lit up when he watched a video of a pregnant goat. And who, as I hear it, slept in a barn to comfort said goats for the first two weeks he cared for them.”

“I’m going to kill Steve.”

Tony smiled up at Bucky and led him into the barn.

“Oh my God,” Bucky ran into the stall petting the excited goats that waited for them, “Rick? Ilsa? Tony, how did you-”

“I talked to Steve after you left. He told me how they were part of your therapy, how they helped you.”

Bucky looked at the goats solemnly, petting them absentmindedly, “They were rescued from an abusive situation. I just felt like I could relate to how they felt, you know. Like we had similar backgrounds.”

Tony gestured to the barn, “That’s why I bought this, to make into an animal rescue. This is yours if you want it. You can run it, you can work here, or you can just visit. It’s your choice. But you deserve to be happy, James. Not just be what someone else expects you to be.”

Bucky was overwhelmed. Not once since he had been back did he consider the possibility of being anything else but a soldier. But here Tony was, offering up something that made him feel like a person again.

“I love you,” Bucky blurted out. It was the only coherent thought he could formulate.

Tony smiled at him, “I love you, too. And if this isn’t what you want, we-”

“No, doll. This is - this is what makes me happy. But I don’t mean the rescue,” Bucky took Tony’s face in his palm. “I mean you. You make me happy. This is just icing on the cake.”


End file.
